The Invisible Woman

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Life may begin at 40 – but if you’re a woman, it seems you’ve only got six years before it goes downhill again.

46 is the age at which women feel they become invisible to men. When men stop holding doors open for us, and giving us their seat on a crowded bus. Coupled with that along come the few gray hairs and extra pounds.

Having recently turned 46, this is not something that I wanted to hear!

Research has found that women in their mid-40s also begin to fret that their views and opinions are no longer valid, and start to worry that their other half is ageing better than they are. But wait – all is not lost they went on to reveal – that the feeling doesn’t last forever, and that most of us regain their confidence by the time we turn 60. Yes, 60!!

So what am I supposed to do for the next 14 years I ask myself?? Sit it out and hope for the best??

Not a chance.

I have to say that I never felt better. I’ve got through the baby-stage, the kids are in school, I’m back at work and I’m feeling independent again! Sure I feel creaky some mornings, but it’s nothing that a few yoga stretches won’t fix.

And what’s more, I know lots of women; mothers and singles, just like me, who are really starting to enjoy life in their mid-40s. We’ve got the book clubs, mums nights out, exercise classes, fun with the kids and nights away. Did you ever do a Google search for websites aimed at women over 40? It’s shocking that they are mainly about fashion, losing weight and staying young. What about just living in the now and enjoying this great age of experience and renewal?

Sure we still want to feel and look good and we need to be more careful with what we eat and doing regular exercise, but that’s no great shocker, it’s common sense and should be part of our lifestyle anyway.

I think there is an opportunity here for some smart over 40s ‘girl-talk’. There are so many ways to enjoy your 40s and 50s without being made to feel that we should want to be 10 years younger again. We have gained life experience and have a lot to offer to teenagers and younger women.

Look at all the women who are over 46 and still fabulous – Julia Roberts, Julianne Moore, Helen Mirren, Debbie Harry, Meryl Street, Iman, Michelle Obama, Moya Doherty, Hilary Clinton, Oprah – to name but a few.

We can’t stop time, but we can make the most of it. A wise woman once said “You don’t get old you just get older.” That sounds just fine to me …

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